My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
