I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
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I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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