Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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