Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
