Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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