I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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