actually, I'm a sock model
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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