Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
