I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So much Jack, so little girl.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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