Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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