Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
