"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
