Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
How's work?
Spinning.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
