You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
