Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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