Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize