And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
