Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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