He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
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Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
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i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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