In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
