ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
