Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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