? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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