did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it glows. i had to have it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
