Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
there was a trapeze. enough said
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
