when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
