i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i came on her dog
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
