One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
