I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
