ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
