she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
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I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
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Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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