note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
