I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
