he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
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