giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
