Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
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I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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