Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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