seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
