Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
