I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I look better un-naked...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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