so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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