the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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