It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
