3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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