Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize