it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
