He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize