I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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