I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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