She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
