I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
