Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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