dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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