i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
