a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize