end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
