oh god the rape fog is back!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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