i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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