You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
His hands were made for my vagina.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
