My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
