are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
