Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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