dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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